The birthling of the Earth - Sita

“I am happy the way I am. Thank you very much. I have reached a peaceful compromise with life and circumstances. I do not need anyone, anymore.”

“And please do refer to me only as Sita. For that is my name. Sita, the birthling found in a furrow on the Earth (seeth). For once let me not be Janaka’s daughter Janaki or the princess of Mithila, Maithili.”

Vaidehi?

“Vaidehi isn’t my own name too. King Janaka, bless his soul, earned the sobriquet Videha and I his daughter, therefore became Vaidehi. Let’s please stick with Sita.”

Meeting Sita isn’t easy. She is quite a recluse. She isn’t the coquettish, talkative type. I don’t think Sita really likes people a lot. Can’t blame her, considering she has spent most of her life in forests, away from the mainstream crowd. She has probably come to love her solitude, which has been her constant and faithful companion, never mind all the rest.

Sita is inexpressibly beautiful. In the perfect conventional manner. A peaches and cream complexion, almond eyes, a royal, delicately curved nose and rosebud lips. Certainly not a person made to toil in jungles and unfriendly terrain. And yet, that has been her destiny. She is calm about it. No wild raving and ranting. There is a cool aura about her. But it’s not the chill of conceit. It is the calming coolness of a wise, loving woman.

She is also a princess to the last bit. Dignified, sophisticated and restrained.

“I wasn’t like that always. I have learnt it the hard way. There have been times when I have known no restrain. Like the time I first saw my husband at the Swayamvar hall, through my thin silken veil, my heart almost jumping out of my bosom. Like the time when my husband decided to leave for the forest to honour my father-in-law’s promise to Queen Kaikeyi. And leave me behind for fourteen years”

Sita first appears in the Ramayana at the wedding scene in King Janaka’s palace and is thus introduced:

“This is Sita child of Janak, dearer unto him than life

Henceforth sharer of thy virtue, be she, prince, thy faithful wife

Of thy weal and woe partaker, be she thine in every land,

Cherish her in joy and sorrow, clasp her hand within thy hand,

As the shadow to the substance, to her lord is faithful wife,

And my Sita best of women follows, then,  in death or life!”

Sita has long been epitomised as feminine perfection in India. She is the ideal daughter, ideal wife and ideal mother. I guess our patriarchal society is more comfortable with Sita (as opposed to the mercurial Draupadi) because in her we see a soft hearted, tearful, gentle and almost subservient woman who is a picture of endless sacrifice.

But I think it would be absolutely unfair to judge Sita in the light of the contemporary, newfangled standards of women's rights without understanding her contextually. And she is not the permanent damsel in distress she is portrayed to be in popular culture. Considering the time period during which the Ramayana was composed, Sita is remarkably vocal in the presence of towering male characters.

“I did speak. Very passionately. Whenever I have felt unjust treatment was being meted out to me, I have raised my voice in my own way. When I got to know, right after my wedding, that I was to remain behind for fourteen years while my husband went to the forest, I was shocked. Here is your newly wedded wife, whom you have uprooted from her father’s home and all you decide is to abandon her for the sake of an act of unnecessary filial obedience?”

When instructed to stay back in Ayodhya for fourteen years, Sita is terribly hurt. She is consumed by the agony of a prolonged separation and says to her husband,

“For my mother often taught me and my father often spake,

That home the wedded woman doth beside her husband make,

As the shadow to the substance, to her lord is the faithful wife,

And she parts not from her consort till she parts with fleeting life.”

But these fail to move her man. Sita promises him she would be no trouble to him in the jungle. She would serve him constantly. The roots and fruits of the jungle would be enough food for her. The new bride who can’t bear the idea of separation throws herself before her lord and in the glory of her simple, pure and innocent love, proclaims that “she would be walking ahead of him in the jungle – so that she could crush under her feet the thorns, the knife-edged blades of grass and the sharp stones on the way and make his way smooth for him!” Yet her husband isn’t convinced.

Finally, with torrents of tears pouring down her almond eyes, the new daughter-in-law of Ayodhya cries in agony and anguish, “I wonder, Rama, if my father King Janaka understood when he got you as a son-in-law that he was really getting only a woman in the body of a man.”

Nobody has ever asked Sita before if she ever regretted her decision of accompanying her husband to the forest. For it led to many undesirable events later. Sitting alone in captivity in faraway Sri Lanka, did for once she think it would have been wiser not to come?

“I have never regretted any decision or action in my life.”

Not even her frenzy of momentary desire for possessing the golden maya deer?  Had she not asked for it, her husband wouldn’t have gone in pursuit and long story short, she wouldn’t have been abducted.

“Well, it was a mistake. I erred and I got my share of punishment. More than my share. But at least I exemplified to the world that lusting after the mere pleasures of the senses, brings about nasty events.”

“You must not forget it was my brother- in-law who chopped off Shurpanakha’s nose. That itself was the beginning of the end. Ravana would have extracted his revenge one way or the other for the disgrace his sister faced. The chain of events was already set in motion. I never acted with foolish bravado or did anything out of the ordinary”

Coming to think of it, she is right. Ravana would have harmed the princes of Ayodhya one way or the other once Shurpanakha’s nose was gone. Sita’s desiring the golden deer, her persuading Rama to go looking for it and finally, sending Lakshman in search of Rama were nothing out of the ordinary. Anybody would like to have a nice, golden pet; anybody would want to rush to the aid of a person presumed injured. What’s so wrong with that? Are all actions only justified by the results they end in? If Ravana hadn't appeared on the scene after Lakshman left to look for Rama, then, Sita's longing for the golden deer and sending Lakshman after her husband would have been rarely noticeable, obscure, unimportant events in Ramayana.

“People have forever blamed me for crossing the Lakshman Rekha. But everyone forgets conveniently, in our times, giving alms to a Brahmin was not a matter of choice. It was what you absolutely did if a Brahmin came begging. It was an unbreakable code of Kshatriya conduct. It wasn’t a choice. It was a compulsion.”

Another aspect of Sita that comes to the front, as we ponder on her abduction by the King of Lanka, is her presence of mind.

Sita quickly recovers from the initial shock of being kidnapped and begins to throw her jewellery down to mark the way for her husband and brother-in-law, who she knew would come looking for her. I don’t know how many girls in the process of getting kidnapped can think that fast. Even today.

In captivity of Ravana, surrounded by demonesses, Sita uses her command on language, her passion and her powerful speech again and shatters Ravana’s supreme confidence into pieces. She is not the one to get swayed by Ravana’s riches or power or even threats. Much before her husband comes to Lanka with a large army, Sita fights Ravana off in the solitude of the gloomy Ashokvatika. Absolutely alone. Her only weapons – her chastity, her faith, the clarity of her mind and her eloquent words.

“Sure thy fitful life is shadowed by a dark and dreadful fate,

Since in frenzy of thy passion courtest thou a warrior's mate"

But heroines do not get respite very easily. Or else they wouldn’t be heroines.

“My moment of truth came right after the war. I wish I had seen it right then.” sighs Sita.

A faithful wife, who refused the great riches and material pleasures of Lanka, when reunited with her husband, is humiliated in the worst possible manner. Rama tells her in firm words that he fought the war only to save his Kshatriya honour and redeem his status as a great warrior.

“I was told that since I was touched by Ravana and I had stayed in his captivity unprotected, I was now free to go where I liked, the ten directions were open to me, and I could give my heart and body, to whoever I wished.” 

Two teardrops shining like diamonds appear at the corner of her eyes.

“I told him that his statements weren’t fit to be spoken even by the cheapest of men to the worst of women. I did not want to prove my chastity by jumping into the fire. I just wanted to die.”

“But I didn’t.” she pauses

Does she blame her husband? 

"I do not blame anybody for anything. Aren't we all merely puppets, dancing to the directions of a master puppeteer? I have long forgiven everybody all their transgressions against me. And my husband? Oh! I loved him! I loved him so much that I'd have cut my heart out of my body if he only just asked!"

"He had his compulsions. I always sympathized with his perennial need to prove himself a righteous and honest King."

And how about being a loving husband who would stand by her no matter what?

“You can’t have it all in one life. You win some, you lose some.”

Sita swallowed the agony of her humiliation by her own beloved husband and accompanied him back to Ayodhya. She played her part quietly in his coronation and for the next few years to come, happily provided her husband all conjugal pleasures. And then, in the manner of a very cruel and bad joke, in the sheer happiness of new life springing within her womb, Sita was told that her husband had decided to get rid of her. Her husband, perturbed by rumours of people talking about the chastity of a queen who lived all alone in Lanka, identified her as the single biggest hindrance to his position as the best king the world has ever seen.

“He himself was in a difficult situation. In some ways, whatever he did would have displeased someone or the other. Was his primary duty to his kingdom or to his wife? His was an internal struggle between the king and the husband.”

After rallying from the initial shock, brave, strong, dignified and ever so kind, Sita tells her husband soothingly to act in a manner befitting a king. She knows no matter where she is, his heart will be her’s forever. Sita doesn’t, for a moment, suffer from insecurity about her marriage and relationship. She has a simple and strong conviction that is very endearing.

Pregnant, banished and unofficially divorced, Sita is quick to gather herself, cheer up and move on with life. She brings forth new life in the jungle hermitage of Rishi Valmiki. The twins, Lav and Kush.

Sita is now the single mother. But she doesn’t let her melancholy affect her children. She brings them up disciplined, brave and strong. Though unhappy herself, she teaches her children to respect their father. She never teaches them hate and vengeance. No one could say her children came from broken homes.

In contemporary society we are anguished to face separation, divorce and single parenthood. Sita went through it with all her love and patience.

“It was he who suffered more. I had my children with me. He was lonelier. Can’t you see, he always had to let go of the people he loved the most. I always saw his inner struggle between an ideal king and a man who wants a normal happy life. Do not judge him harshly. He was very sad.”

“I, on the other hand, always made peace with my situation.”

Sita never saw herself as a miserable victim. In her mind and in her conduct she was always a greatly dignified royal princess and a faithful wife who loved endlessly. She never begs, never rants and never makes a scene to be taken back and restored as a queen. She never goes marching back to demand her equal rights. Neither does she run to her father’s house wailing and complaining. She is the ever understanding wife. The ever loving mother. 

And she is also the picture of restrained royal dignity. Once her sons are accepted as the rightful heirs to the throne of Ayodhya, Sita’s job is done. She no longer needs to prove anything to anybody. And so, calling upon her mother, Bhumi (the Goddess Earth), Sita leaves. She brings her story to an end and leaves others to carry on with the miseries of life. Sita, unlike many of us, knew where to draw the line. Like I said, a princess to the very end.

I have one final question. What should contemporary women, so empowered in every way, (and even men for that matter) learn from the story of a woman who lived and loved thousands of ages ago?

“My life on Earth as a human will only be successful if everybody learns little more forbearance. Learn from my follies." 
"Understand that between soul mates, like my husband and me, there exists a bond greater than that of expressed love. If hardships and physical separation sever the ties that bind two hearts, then it's not love, it's just convenience."
"Learn how to bring up balanced children even when faced with marital difficulties."
"Understand that being chaste and pure  is a state of mind and soul, not a bodily parameter. An attack on the physical body doesn't take anybody's honour or purity away."
"Do not use my name to awe your daughters, wives and daughters-in-law into docile submission. Submission comes out of deep love, not force. I had spoken my mind in my time. Let them speak theirs'. I held my moral ground. Let all women hold theirs'.”

Finally Sita says, in her cool, gentle manner, before she chooses to leave my dream like rendezvous with her –

“We live as humans in a human world. We make mistakes, we face troubles and sometimes we get into very complicated situations. You can either choose to crib about the hardships for the rest of your existence and blame everybody and be bitter. Or you can choose to forgive and move on. I chose the latter. 
Forgiving is healing, calming and strengthening.”

      ******************************************************************

P.S - Thank you for taking time out from your busy schedule and reading my blog.

 If you are enjoying reading these articles, may I request you to please follow this blog by signing into Blogger with your Google ID and share the link to any article that you like the most here - on Facebook, Twitter, Google plus and any other social media you may be using...so your friends can visit too? :)
I am a new author and I would be grateful for any kind of encouragement from my readers. It is a tough world out there for new authors!
Thanks once again! Hope you love reading my articles as much as I loved writing them!

Ref: 1. The Ramayana (Translated by Romesh C. Dutt), Dent, 1910

       2. Brockington, J. L., Righteous Rama: The Evolution of an Epic., Oxford University Press.

       3. Milton's Eve and The Ramayana's Sita: Two female archetypes.